30/30: Kathy and I. Conflict. Arby’s.

Kathy and I have had some major conflicts in our 18 years of marriage. One of the best was a few years ago on vacation at Hocking Hills in SE Ohio. The kids in the backseat witnessed an epic event that is often recalled and revisited today when we go out to dinner.

We were driving to dinner and an Outdoor Theater Production in a city about 45 minutes away from our campground. On the way we drove through a quaint small town which just so happened to be celebrating their Summer Fair. You know the kind where the downtown is closed and it’s transformed with rides, BBQs, elephant ears and whole lot of small town charm. “This is cool! Let’s stop here for dinner. The kids will have fun!.” We’ve got a few hours before the play, so I pull in to enjoy a little unexpected fun on our journey.

As I get out of the car, Kathy speaks up, “I was REALLY looking forward to having dinner at the drama.” (There was a special dinner before the performance with the actors in the production. Did I forget to mention we had planned on going there for dinner?).“Yeah, THAT was a good idea, but this is SO much better,” I chime back.

Better to me, not better to her. You can see where this is going.

The argument ensues which is followed with a huff from me, “Alright, let’s go. Mom wants to eat at the theater.” Three miles down the road the argument escalates to the point where we pull over to the side of road. A lot of sarcastic “I dont’ freakn care. I’ll do what YOU freakn want!” comments ensue and in huff Kathy gets out of the car and starts walking back to town. I turn the car around and drive along yelling from the window, “Get back in the car!”

After about a 100 yards, a whole lot of screaming from me and crying from the kids, Kathy gets back in the car. The conflict continues, but this time we yell at each other with the loudest form of anger…SILENCE. After 30 minutes of tension you could cut with a knife, we get to our destination. Kathy has now lost her appetite for dinner at the theater, but with three hungry kids in the car I pull into Arby’s. The family piles out of the car, but not me. I’m still stewing. While they enjoyed a thinly sliced roast beef, I sat in the car sulking in thinly sliced anger and resentment.

The story is funny now and we all laugh about that infamous day. At times now when we are going out to eat, the kids will say “Hey dad! Want to go to Arby’s for dinner? You can sit in the car.”

“Do you know where your fights and arguments come from? They come from the selfish desires that war within you.” James 4:1

CONFLICT Series begins @ Epic November 15

30/30: The Holy Spirit Gives You an Unfair Advantage in Life

And I will ask the Father, and He will give you another Counselor to be with you forever- the Spirit of truth. The world cannot accept him, because it neither sees him nor knows him. But you know him, for He lives with you and will be in you. John 14:16-17

The Holy Spirit Gives You Supernatural Power …

1. To Believe
Jesus answered, “I tell you the truth, no one can enter the kingdom of God unless he is born of water and the Spirit. Flesh gives birth to flesh, but the Spirit gives birth to spirit. John 3:5-6

2. To Walk in God’s Will
When He, the Spirit of truth comes, He will guide you into all truth. He will not speak on His own. He will speak only what He hears, and He will tell you what is yet to come. He will bring glory to Me by taking from what is mine and making it known to you. John 16:13

3. To Share Christ Boldly
After they prayed, the place where they were meeting was shaken. And they were all filled with the Holy Spirit and spoke the word of God boldly. Acts 4:31

4. To Make a Difference with Spiritual Gifts.
Now to each one the manifestation of the Spirit is given for the common good…(list of gifts)… It is the one and only Spirit who distributes all these gifts. He alone decides which gift each person should have.    I Corinthians 12:7, 11

5. To Live a Holy Life

Those who are dominated by the sinful nature think about sinful things, but those who are controlled by the Holy Spirit think about things that please the Spirit. If your sinful nature controls your mind, there is death. But if the Holy Spirit controls your mind, there is life and peace. Romans 8:5-6

So I advise you to live according to your new life in the Holy Spirit. Then you won’t be doing what your sinful nature craves. The old sinful nature loves to do evil, which is just opposite from what the Holy Spirit wants…These two forces are constantly fighting each other, and your choices are never free from this conflict. Galatians 5:16-17

6. To Be Strengthened in Our Weakness
And the Holy Spirit helps us in our weakness. For example, we don’t know what God wants us to pray for. But the Holy Spirit prays for us with groanings that cannot be expressed in words. And the Father who knows all hearts knows what the Spirit is saying, for the Spirit pleads for us believers in harmony with God’s own will. Romans 8:26-27

30/30: Battles. Warfare. Spritual Armor.

Last Sunday, we began the “Supernatural” Series at Epic. I seriously believe that God is trying to move in big way and we are in the middle of a spiritual battle. What we see with our physical eyes is not all there is, but there is a spiritual world that is just as real and is interconnected with the physical world. Scripture says it this way, “Finally, be strong in the Lord and in His mighty power. Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.” Ephesians 6:10-12

You and I have a battle, but it’s not against the government, a political party, Hollywood or your boss from hell. Our battle is against “evil forces in the heavenly realms.” The devil is scheming to take you out. So our battle involves faith, prayer and God’s Word. And there are three critical things we all need to remember in this battle….

1. You Are Not Alone in Your Battles. (2 Kings 6:15-17)

2. Your Prayers Are Far More Powerful Than You Know. (Daniel 10:12-14)

3. You Are Equipped For Battle

Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God. And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the saints. Ephesians 6:13-18

30/30: How to Hang on at the End of Your Rope

Lessons from Jeremiah, a Guy Who Was Hanging On For Dear Life

When Your Hanging on at the End of Your Rope…

1. Focus Your Attention on God

When life is heavy and hard to take, go off by yourself. Enter the silence. Bow in prayer. Don’t ask questions. Wait for hope to appear. Lamentations 3:28-29

2. Ask God to Remove Your Fears

From the bottom of the pit, I cried out to You, O Lord. And when I begged You to listen to my cry, You heard. And You answered me and told me not to be afraid. Lamentations 3:55-57

3. Trust God’s Goodness

The Lord is good to everyone who trusts in Him. So it is best for us to wait in patience—to wait for Him to save us.” Lamentations 3:25-26

4. Remember the Lord’s Faithfulness

“I’ll never forget the trouble, the utter lostness, the taste of ashes, the poison I’ve swallowed. I remember it all…the feeling of hitting the bottom. BUT there’s one other thing I remember, and remembering it, I keep a grip on hope: God’s loyal love couldn’t have run out, His merciful love couldn’t have dried up. They’re created new every morning. How great is Your faithfulness!” Lamentations 2:19-23

Survival Guide: Fend Off Depression, Part #1

What is so cool about the Bible is that there are people just like us who struggled with discouragement, doubt and depression. Elijah, a spokesperson for God in the Old Testament was seriously down, defeated and depressed. His story is told in 1 Kings 19.

1 When Ahab got home, he told Jezebel everything Elijah had done, including the way he had killed all the prophets of Baal. 2 So Jezebel sent this message to Elijah: “May the gods strike me and even kill me if by this time tomorrow I have not killed you just as you killed them.” 3 Elijah was afraid and fled for his life. He went to Beersheba, a town in Judah, and he left his servant there 4 Then he went on alone into the wilderness, traveling all day. He sat down under a solitary broom tree and prayed that he might die. “I have had enough, Lord,” he said. “Take my life, for I am no better than my ancestors who have already died

Ever been there? Feeling like you would like your fed up and ready to give up? Elijah, like many of us was a the end of his rope. When I am feeling down, I start to at just like Elijah. We do these four things which only increases our depression.

1. Focus on Your Feelings
2. Push People Away
3. Compare Yourself to Others
4. Assume the Worst

Elijah did all of those things, but what is so amazing is God’s response. God doesn’t condemn him; He doesn’t criticize him. Elijah may have given up on God, but God hasn’t given up on Elijah. He offers a practical Survival Guide to help people like you and me fend off depression. He pulls Elijah up and restores his soul.

1. Take Care of Your Physical Needs
5 Then he lay down and slept under the broom tree. But as he was sleeping, an angel touched him and told him, “Get up and eat!” 6 He looked around and there beside his head was some bread baked on hot stones and a jar of water! So he ate and drank and lay down again. 7 Then the angel of the Lord came again and touched him and said, “Get up and eat some more, or the journey ahead will be too much for you.” 8 So he got up and ate and drank, and the food gave him enough strength.

2. Don’t Suppress Your Frustrations, Tell them to God
There he came to a cave, where he spent the night. But the Lord said to him, “What are you doing here, Elijah?” 10 Elijah replied, “I have zealously served the Lord God Almighty. But the people of Israel have broken their covenant with you, torn down your altars, and killed every one of your prophets. I am the only one left, and now they are trying to kill me, too.”

3. Understand God’s Position and Power
“Go out and stand before me on the mountain,” the Lord told him. And as Elijah stood there, the Lord passed by, and a mighty windstorm hit the mountain. It was such a terrible blast that the rocks were torn loose, but the Lord was not in the wind. After the wind there was an earthquake, but the Lord was not in the earthquake. 12 And after the earthquake there was a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire. And after the fire there was the sound of a gentle whisper. 13 When Elijah heard it, he wrapped his face in his cloak and went out and stood at the entrance of the cave.

4. Start Again
15 The LORD said to him, “Go back the way you came, and go to the Desert of Damascus. When you get there, anoint Hazael king over Aram.

30/30: Survive a Financial Freefall

Whether it’s the fear of a layoff, the decreasing value of your home, your disappearing retirement funds or the loss of job, everyone is struggling right now. In James 1:2, it says,When you face trials.” It doesn’t say “if” but “when.” Financial trials are inevitable, and impartial. So where do we turn in this worst case scenario economy?

One of the main reasons we are in panic mode is that we believe the myth that money, a job or a career can make us secure. It’s not that bad things are happening; bad things are always happening in the world. The reason we panic because our myth of security is exposed. We freak out cause we feel we are now vulnerable. But the truth is…we were never in control and never secure. Every day our life is hanging by a thread. Now that is a hard truth to learn, but it’s liberating, because we realize that we have to build our life on something stronger than money or career. Jobs come and go. Housing goes up and down. Money is here one day and gone another.

We have to build our life on something that never changes. The only thing that never changes is the character of our God. The stock market may go up and down, but God never changes. If there was a ticker on the kingdom of God, it would read….God’s character today: Unchanged. God’s patience today: Unchanged. God’s commitment to justice: Unchanged. God’s heart of mercy and love: Unchanged. God’s care for you: Unchanged. God’s commitment to you: Unchanged.

The economy may be falling, but nothing in Heaven has changed today. Jesus still sits on the throne at the right hand of His Father. He is still in control. He is still our rock when things are shaky. He is still our anchor in the storm. He is still our North Star of hope in a dark world.

And by the way, the kingdom of God is not threatened with bankruptcy and doesn’t need a bailout from the U.S. Treasury. The kingdom of God doesn’t need restructuring. And by the way, the President doesn’t get to approve of the CEO and the Congress doesn’t get to vote on this.

The kingdom of God is doing real well. So don’t buy the myth that money or career can make you secure. Get your security someplace else…in the One who never changes.

SURVIVAL TOOL#1: You are God’s child, what do you have to fear? How great is the love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are. 1 John 3:1

SURVIVAL TOOL#2: Rejoice in what Christ has given you today. Who by worrying can add a single hour to his live? Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of it’s own. Matthew 6:25,34 This is the day the Lord has made. We will rejoice and be glad in it. Psalm 118:24

SURVIVAL TOOL#3: Trust that He will take care of you. And this same God who takes care of me will supply all your needs from his glorious riches, which have been given to us in Christ Jesus. Philippians 2:19

30/30: Lifelines. Worry. God’s Faithfulness

Recently I came across some pictures of Kathy and I when we were first married. Three things went through my mind: 1. This young guy was naive about life. 2. This guy was freak’n clueless about marriage. 3. This guy had no lines on his face. When I look in the mirror today, my face is now older, more worn and reflects a life half lived. In 17 years of marriage, life has Kathy and I around the country and around the world serving Christ and people,

During those years, we wondered if God would …

Provide financially our first five years of marriage; we were dirt poor (ever year we made less than the poverty line).

Protect us while we lived with gunshots and crackheads living in the inner city of Baltimore.

Keep our daughter safe from Malaria and sickness for two years in Ghana, West Africa (We got malaria, but she never did).

Really be there for us when we were lonely living on the other side of the world. (In the pre-internet days, the only contact we had with our family was a $2/minute phone call from a post office once or twice a month).

Comfort and strengthen us when our 2nd daughter was born premature, blue and not breathing. (The first week in intensive care, the doctors didn’t think she would make it, but she miraculously recovered).

Teach us how to love and forgive when our marriage was rocky, drifting apart and full of arguments (We’ve been through a lot and are closer today than ever before).

Pick us up when we were discouraged, frustrated, stressed, and burned out working in challenging church over the years (He didn’t always work things out the way we wanted, but he has always been there big time for us).

Support and provide for us when we took a crazy risk and started a church for people that don’t go to church (This was harder than going to Africa).

As I look at my face now…there are a lot more lifelines. But lifelines are more than just lines on my face. They are reminders of all the times Christ has come through in our life. Lifelines tell the story of all the Lifelines that Christ has sent to us to help pull us through when we felt like we were at the end of our rope.

One of the best ways to be encouraged when you feel like you are at the end of your rope is to remember all the times in the past where Christ has come through in your life. And here’s the deal…Christ has not changed. He is the same yesterday, today and forever. Instead of worrying, start remembering.He was faithful then and He IS STILL FAITHFUL now.

And this same God who takes care of me will supply all your needs from his glorious riches, which have been given to us in Christ Jesus. Philippians 2:19

30/30: Hungry?

Everyone at Epic survived no donuts and coffee last Sunday as we introduced a little hunger to nail home point of being hungry for God. We looked at the basic question, “we are all hungry for something in life, but am I hungry for God?”

Bartimaeus: A Man Hungry For God…

Then they reached Jericho, and as Jesus and his disciples left town, a large crowd followed him. A blind beggar named Bartimaeus (son of Timaeus) was sitting beside the road. When Bartimaeus heard that Jesus of Nazareth was nearby, he began to shout, “Jesus, Son of David, have mercy on me!”

“Be quiet!” many of the people yelled at him. But he only shouted louder, “Son of David, have mercy on me!” When Jesus heard him, he stopped and said, “Tell him to come here.” So they called the blind man. “Cheer up,” they said. “Come on, he’s calling you!” Bartimaeus threw aside his coat, jumped up, and came to Jesus.

“What do you want me to do for you?” Jesus asked. “My rabbi,” the blind man said, “I want to see!” And Jesus said to him, “Go, for your faith has healed you.” Instantly the man could see, and he followed Jesus down the road. Mark 10: 46-52

We can learn a lot about spiritual hunger from Bartimaeus. When your really hungry to have God in your life…

1. You don’t care what people think.

People tried to stop him from from going to Jesus, but he wouldn’t let the opinions of others stop him from getting to Jesus.

2. You will do “whatever It takes” to fill your hunger.

Bart did whatever it takes to get to Jesus. Often times we think being hungry for God is enough, but we actually have to get your folk out and start eating. Here’s four ways to begin… A.Pray: Turn off the radio on the way to work and pray. B.Read the Bible: Spend 10 minutes a day and read though Mark with one chapter a day. C. Worship: Commit to Weekly Worship. D.Community: Join a Life Group.

3. You “Live to Eat” and “Eat to Live.”

Bart didn’t just thank Jesus for healing him and then go on his way. In Jesus he found life and began to follow him. At some point all mature Christians realize, it’s not jus about desiring what God can give you, it’s about seeking and desiring Jesus with all of your life.

“Live to eat” The primary reason we are alive is get to know Christ better. If I am looking for anything in this life to satisfy the hunger that can only be filled by Christ, I will go hungry.

“Eat to live” Jesus wants to satisfy your hunger. If I am not feeding on Christ, I am not really living. At best I’m surviving. At worst, I’m spiritually dead.

Jesus said, “I am the Bread of Life. Whoever comes to me will never go hungry …If anyone eats of this bread, he will live forever!” John 8:35, 51

30/30: 10 Stitches. Wounds. Infallible God.

As a kid, we loved to ride our bikes up to the park and play baseball. One hot summer day shaped the way I would ride my bike for the rest of my life. As normal, I was heading full steam across the ball diamond directly for backstop. As I crossed home plate I slammed on the brakes to do a sliding sideways stop. But this time something went wrong. The pedal got stuck somewhere in the middle and the brakes didn’t engage. Nowhere to go, except straight into the backstop. I flew up and when I came down, I ripped the skin on my knee wide open. I know this for a fact there is something VERY CREEPY about seeing your own white bone without beauty of your skin over it. Fortunately, it didn’t stay creepy for long. Within a second my knee was covered with blood.

Ten stitches later, life returned to a normal or so I thought. But something changed inside me. I was different. I would now always check my brakes before approaching a dead stop. I noticed I now didn’t pedal at the same breakneck speeds. I found myself holding back instead of going all out.

Life has a way of doing the same thing to us. All of us at some point all of us will experience life scars. Sometimes it’s a circumstance or disappointment that cuts us deep. Sometimes it’s a wound caused by words someone else said to us. Sometimes it’s the hurt of what someone did to us. Sometimes it’s a pain caused by our own sin. Often the biggest scars come from those that we love or loved the most…a parent, a spouse, an ex, or a friend.

What we often do is cover up those scars and pretend what happened doesn’t effect us now. But we know that’s not true. We secretly decide to put on the breaks and not trust people at the level we did before. We put up walls, so we will not experience the pain of being let down again. We don’t want to be creeped out by the bone, so we slow down and love only at ½ speed.

Lately, I’m discovering is that Jesus is infallible. Not only does He never make mistakes, but he is incapable of making a mistake. Others may fail us, but He will never fail us. Others may let us down, but He will never let us down. When I’m face to face with his infallibility, I realize just how fallible I am. He is so different than me. I want to hide the stitches, but He wants to uncover the wounds. Why? So he can heal and restore me.

“Nothing is beyond his redemption. Nothing is beyond his restoration. Nothing is beyond his healing power. Not the bruises. Not the scars. Not the pain… If God were wrong some of the time, I would trust him enough to obey him…. but God is wildly infallible-in every way. ” (Margaret Feinberg, the organic God. p.106)

Because we walk with a God who is wildly infallible, I can begin to lower our protective behavior and begin to love others at full speed again. Yes, people will let me down. Yes, I will even let myself down. But I the Infallible God will never let me down.

30/30: We Crawl

Sometimes you hear a song that really articulates what you feel and communicates the hope that you need to keep moving forward. When my spiritual tank is empty, I often don’t have the strength to read the Bible or even pray. In those moments I turn to music. It’s funny, I can sing something when I can’t find the words to pray through what I am stuggling with. Last week I was whipped and this song rocked my world. God used it to reach me right where I was at. Sometimes we work to keep our image up. We give off the pretense of someone without problems who has it all together. What’s cool is that God knows you and me with all our hangups, hurts, and struggles and is very comfortable with the real you, not the image we project. The reality is we are not big, we are small. The reality is we are not always running forward acheiving great things, we’re just crawling through life. The reality is we are not alone, we are together with others and with Jesus…and there is nothing better in life than that.

The Polyphonic Spree “We Crawl”