30/30: Marriage is Hard Work.

20 08 2008

Me & One Wonderfu Woman

The tension was thick. She was powering up. He was shutting down. Yesterday I was sitting in Caribou and the couple next to me was in the middle of discussing the terms of their divorce. Each page turned was another disagreement about money. I don’t know the story of what happened, but my heart went out to them. Surely this was not the way they wanted it to end when they stood at the altar years ago. I felt helpless and all I could to it pray to the One who cares more about them than they do. I prayed God would reach into their pain and reveal Himself to them.

The back story is Kathy and I got into a major argument over the weekend. It was tense. It was one of those issues we’ve disagreed on before, but this time it needed to be dealt with to move forward in our relationship. We couldn’t just sweep it under the rug and pretend everything was fine. I thinking about our future when another couples end was in my face.

In the middle of moments like we are tempted to run away and give up on the relationship. Giving up would be easier. Giving up seems to make sense. Giving up sure would be less painful. But giving up would stop us short of experiencing “the something better” God has in store for us. It’s often the most difficult things in life that cause us…

1. To learn to love someone unconditionally

2. To look at areas of ourselves we don’t want to see

3. To change things about ourselves that need changing

4. To learn to “Forgive as Christ forgives us”

5. To trust in Christ together to work things out

If you’re struggling in your marriage…don’t give up. Marriage is wonderful because it requires hard work. It’s worth giving all you are and everything you could be to. Our relationship is better this week because of the difficulties we went though last weekend.

Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity. Colossians 3:12-14




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