Do Chick Flicks Ruin Your Love Life?

17 12 2008

flm90005the-notebook-postersWe talk a lot about relationships at Epic and I’ve counseled tons of couples about love and relationships. Often I help people separate fantasy from reality…the crazy idea that love should be easy and the reality that is love and marriage takes a lot of work and sacrifice. This new study from Watt University was thought provoking:

LINK: Rom-Coms “Spoil Your Love Life”?

At times I’ve joked those movies are like “chic porn.” Just as pornography gives men completely unrealistic expectations of women, I think Chic Flicks / Romantic Comedies have the ability to give women completely unrealistic expectations of men. In the study they questioned people and their opinions about relationships through movies from 1995-2005. Dr Bjarne Holmes writes:

“Marriage counsellors often see couples who believe that sex should always be perfect, and if someone is meant to be with you then they will know what you want without you needing to communicate it….We now have some emerging evidence that suggests popular media play a role in perpetuating these ideas in people’s minds….The problem is that while most of us know that the idea of a perfect relationship is unrealistic, some of us are still more influenced by media portrayals than we realise.”

What do you think?

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2 responses

17 12 2008
Jenny

I agree. I remember asking my mom if there was something wrong with me. She just said no it’s the movies and hollywood.

18 12 2008
Tim Kade

Jenny,
I know what you mean. In a long term relationship, there are great moments, but a lot of the time marriage is…for very for lack of a better word…”Normal.” I have found when my expectations are through the roof that is when I am the least satisfied with the relationship. One of the things that I’ve learned is: Strive for the ideal, but live in the real. Keep striving to grow as a spouse, but live in the reality of where you are at now. Because “in the real” that is actually the only place you can really live. What are you learning?

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