Marriage Glue is Forgiveness

30 11 2009

One of my professors had this saying he would repeat over and over every time he talked about marriage, “The glue that holds a marriage together is forgiveness.” I think my old professor’s wisdom holds true in everyday relationships. We all have had people do things and say things that hurt us. On the flip side, we all have done things that cause hurt and pain in the lives of someone else. The glue that holds relationships together is forgiveness.

But what is forgiveness? Forgiveness is not forgetting. Because no matter how hard you try to forget something, you can’t make your mind forget it. Forgiveness is not ignoring it and sweeping it under the rug. All that will do is create relationship landmines that will leave everyone walking on eggshells. Forgiveness means you acknowledge the hurt and pain the person caused you, but you choose to let it go and not hold it against them anymore. Forgiveness means you make the choice to forgive them and never bring it up again. You may think that they don’t deserve to be forgiven. You’re right, they don’t…that’s why it’s called forgiveness.

“Be gentle and ready to forgive; never hold grudges. Remember the Lord forgave you. So you must forgive others just as the Lord forgave you” (Colossians 3: 13).




3 responses

1 12 2009

You are so right. When I talk to engaged couples and ask them the key to a great marriage, very few think of forgiveness. On the contrary, I think most couples married for more than a decade will think of it first.

1 12 2009
Tim Kade

Lori, Very interesting insight. I tell couples I am counseling before marriage, “You are making a unconditional commitment to forgive sins that your spouse hasn’t even committed yet”

BTW – Great blog! I love what your writing and can’t wait for you to finish your book.

8 12 2009

Thanks for your encouraging comments, Tim. I really appreciate it. Keep in touch, and keep up the good work. Best,

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